Rambling explanation of things in general

This website was born during the spring of 2000. At that time I made vast, sweeping claims about what was going to happen here, and most of the time nobody could understand what I was talking about. They frowned as I explained my awkwardly vague dreams about the unprecedented human interaction I would create. They were sometimes bold enough to voice their inner concerns about how the hell I would make money from this, and very rarely pointed out my tendency to not follow through on anything, or the fact that I had no idea how to put any of this together.

For months I wrote stupid little tidbits about what I wasn't getting done, and how I hadn't progressed any further on anything related to the development of this website. Eventually I recognized that this was pointless and boring, and I abandoned the updates.

For a time after that you could visit cesoid.com and find only the words "nothing here" scrawled in ransom note style penmanship.

Then, something which I would call phenomenal happened to me. I hit a turning point in my life, one that probably nobody noticed, but it affected me just the same, and spurned a renewal of cesoid.com. The turning point was simply this: I stopped believing in fate. I stopped believing that all the bad things that happened to me were meant to be, and started believing that I would never be satisfied with life if I just gave in and let things happen randomly. So I wrote about it and put it here, and continued writing about things, and creating things, and posting them here.

At this point, I have completely failed at causing anyone to interact with anyone else through this website. Instead, it has become a display of whatever I feel like putting here. Sometimes it is some kind of essay, sometimes a graphic, sometimes a bunch of digital camera pictures. Basically, whenever I feel like I've made something that should be seen by people that aren't inside my head, it goes here.

Here are some things about me:

• As a child I was taught to be "Catholic". During my sophomore year of high school, when I took classes for the sacrament of confirmation, I was finally cornered into thinking about what this meant. I decided that I was not Catholic, and then that I was not Christian, and then that I did not believe in God. I was very upset about being presented this set of truths by parents, teachers, and church authority figures in general, when I found that these people had extremely questionable reasons for believing them. I decided that this kind of behavior was bad for people, that it divided them against people of differing beliefs unnecessarily, and that it skewed their ability to make decisions. I became very active about trying to understand why people devote themselves to religions, and, in many cases, I actually tried to convince people that they should stop. Over the years I've become more mellow on the subject, but still find religion to be a large problem, and still would like to do what I can to reduce its influence.
• In spring of 1997 I started writing a book. In August 2001 I finished the first draft of that book. In September 2002 I finished the final draft of that book. In December 2002 I published Sugar Pill independently, and it is available for purchase here.
• I spent a good deal of my childhood believing that I was stupid, and much of my recent life feeling that I can use information more effectively than any other person (but seldomly do so). Only recently have I become unsure about whether my situation is that extreme. I'm still fairly sure that I've never found evidence of any specific person who would disprove the idea, but I've become more open to the possibility that people similar to me exist somewhere, and that I just haven't had the incredible luck of meeting or hearing about them yet. You might refer to this "ability to use information" as "intelligence" (or perhaps "arrogance"), but after seeing how psychologists test intelligence, I'm never sure if I want to use the word. Most people are inclined to wonder why I believe this about myself, my only short defense is that I never wanted to believe it. Being "smart" might be fun somehow, but not in such an extreme form.
• This is me:

Sorry, but until have a host with servlets working, or until I decide to use something else that the host already has installed for processing forms, I won't have a petition that you can sign to request that this website be destroyed. This will probably soon change.